LOL

planet law school II had a few pages on some hilar lawyer situations. (all true. btw.) so i thought i'd share.

LOGIC 101:
attorney: what happened then?
witness: he told me, he says, "i have to kill you because you can identify me."
attorney: did he kill you?

DOCTOR'S REVENGE PART I:
attorney: dr. browning, you conducted the autopsy on mark samuels?
witness: i did.
attorney: and he was dead at the time?
witness: no, you stupid asshole. he was sitting up on the table, asking me what the hell i was doing.

DOCTOR'S REVENGE PART II:
attorney: dr. gold, you say you're here to testify about the cause of mr. blake's death, correct?
witness: that's right.
attorney: but dr. gold, you did not, yourself, conduct the autopsy on mr. blake, did you?
witness: that's right.
attorney: dr. jeffries conducted the autopsy on mr. blake, didn't he?
witness: that's right.
attorney: you weren't present when dr. jeffries conducted the autopsy on mr. blake, were you?
witness: that's right.
attorney: in fact, you never even saw the body of mr. blake, did you?
witness: that's right.
attorney: and all you have are dr. jeffries's notes from that alleged autopsy, correct?
witness: that's right.
attorney: then you cannot even say for certain that mr. blake is dead, can you?
witness: that's right, counselor. i do have his brain sitting in a jar on a shelf in my office. but for all i know, the rest of him could be out practicing law somewhere.

what am i getting myself into?